This article is a work of humour. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
A Mohammadpur resident, Aziz Mollah, who recently opened a Facebook account has become the bane for locals after he began believing he's a journalist.
Mollah, who has also purchased a brand new phone, an outdated selfie stick and what appears to be a toy microphone, is often seen milling around the locality looking for "news".
Locals, however, say that Mollah is the biggest nuisance since a former dictator.
Halima Khatun, a resident, said Mollah became unbearable when security checkposts were set up in the neighbourhood.
"The police would stop and check most people after 10pm. But Mollah was always there shoving a microphone in our face and asking us why we were stopped. We were stopped because it's a checkpost. This isn't news," she shared.
Hakim Jorder, a grocer, had another complaint.
"He keeps asking me for prices of vegetables and then begins talking to the camera. I don't know what he wants. He also disturbs our customers a lot," he said.
Mollah is also known for forcing people to say provocative things and then making a "content" out of it.
"Content is king. I target at least 15 likes per day on Facebook. Every morning, my audience is waiting to see what I have to offer. So it's really hard, but I must provide this service," Mollah said.
Asked if he had any licence, registration or even training, Mollah pointed to his mobile phone. "Look at all these channels. Do you think they have such things?"
Asked how he finds news, Mollah said it was all about "hashtags" and then refused to elaborate on it.
When told that people found him very unlikeable, Mollah instantly wore a smirk on his face.
"Real journalists aren't reporting on facts anymore. So, I have taken it upon myself to do so. Everyone must answer any question I ask, isn't that the right of a journalist?"
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