Ahead of the Dhaka University Central Students' Union (DUCSU) election, the campus has felt more like the stage for a soap opera than a political battle over the past two weeks.
At the same time that candidates are projecting themselves as stalwarts of student rights and, in many cases, tripping over their feet, admins of their social pages are busy churning out memes, hoping a viral moment could translate to hundreds of votes.
The latest misstep came from Joyen Uddin Sarker from the United Students' Alliance (Oikkoboddho Shikkarthi Jot).
After being nominated for the post of executive member on August 18, he stirred up quite a storm just two days later by glorifying Pakistani pilot Rashid Minhaj while attempting to portray Flight Lieutenant Bir Sreshtho Matiur Rahman as a traitor.
For someone running for the post from Shibir's panel, that strategy was akin to setting their campaign on fire.
Unsurprisingly, students didn't let it slide. Netizens openly criticised and questioned his intentions.
Consequently, Shibir excluded him from the panel today.
The VP nominee from the same party, Ex-DU Shibir President Md Abu Shadik (Kayem), whose popularity seems to rest more on Facebook reactions than on reality, tried to convey in a post that they would secure the safety of the girls on the campus.
In response, female students flooded the comments with sarcastic remarks, asking whether Shibir would secure their safety by deploying their arsenal of bot accounts on social media.
On the other hand, Bangladesh Jatiyotabadi Chhatra Dal chose a very different route. They announced their panel with an emotional speech, decrying the state of politics and the nation as a whole over the past years, that tugged at heartstrings.
And it worked. Abidul Islam Khan, contesting for the VP post, managed to turn the moment into a smart strategic kick-off, giving their campaign the kind of dramatic start that could set the emotive tone for the rest of the DUCSU election.
Meanwhile, the Anti-Discrimination Student Parliament, ironically, has faced allegations of discriminating against itself.
Several members said they were denied the posts that suited them, leaving two of its popular leaders, Tahmid Mudassir Chowdhury and Sanjana Afifa Aditi, to file their candidacies independently.
Not to be outdone, the Democratic Student Union is in freefall as well, with leaders scattering outside panels as though loyalty is optional.
For example, Sardar Nadim Mahmud Shuvo was denied candidacy for the post he desired, prompting him to run independently for and proving that revenge really is a campaign strategy.
Sabbir Uddin Riyon, an organiser of the Bangladesh Democratic Students Union, also decided to forsake his party, now trying his luck as an independent.
In perhaps the most telling move, Rupaiya Shrestha Tonchongya left the party altogether, joining Umama Fatima's 'Swatantra Shikkharthi Oikko' panel.
Elsewhere, Tasnim Afroz Emi, leading the protirod poroshod as the VP candidate, is back on the battlefield, dusting off the armour she first wore in the 2019 DUCSU election.
Yet it isn't only the panels making noise. A handful of independents are stealing the spotlight. Among them is general secretary candidate Ashik has already got attention with his flamboyant comic speeches.
Junior students and the campus's ever-gossiping columnists are already spilling the tea. So restock your popcorn; the game is officially on.
But the real twist has gone unnoticed, with the narrative leaving out female and non-resident students, who seem ready to rewrite the rulebook altogether.
Numerically, Ruqaiaah Hall remains the single largest vote bank in the DUCSU election.
This means, whether it's Abu Shadik or Bin Yeamin Mollah, both must appeal to the psyche of young women who have shown that, if necessary, they can break through a locked door at midnight.
And then there's Generation Z, the real wild card. With their infamous short attention spans, bite-sized political posts on Facebook, memes and reels, they are proving once again that satire is often more powerful than any manifesto.
The pulse of campus politics is tightening, and with twelve panels in the race.
Although most of the 12 panels are about as unique as photocopies of photocopies, each one is desperately trying to stand out.
On the sidelines, Chhatra Dal, Chhatra Shibir, and the Democratic Student Union all swear that they have "massive student support".
The election might just give them a reality check.
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